


Fairy Tales and Wishing Stars

by Not_just_any_fangirl



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, F/M, First Kiss, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mental Health Issues, Nalu - Freeform, Nalu Angst Week, Natsu has a mental illness and finds Lucy trapped in her hospital room, Self-Harm, based off a song prompt!, incurable disease au, mainly fluf with heartbreak, they just love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9458768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_just_any_fangirl/pseuds/Not_just_any_fangirl
Summary: Natsu visits Lucy in the hospital. Emotions come to a head in the face of heart-breaking news.





	

“Hey Luce!”

Natsu watched as Lucy slowly opened her eyes, a deep tiredness in her movements even as light sparked in her chocolate eyes. Her joy was quickly replaced with suspicion as she eyed him and sat up, Natsu hurrying to her bedside to help her with practised hands. He smiled at her brightly, settling into the chair opposite the machine to her left.

The constant beeping was easily ignored after visiting her for the past 8 months.

“What did you do this time, Natsu?” Lucy sighed, fingers lacing with his above the plush blanket. He let his eyes trace the starry pattern, leaning his elbows on the edge on her bed. Despite her father’s money and the contributions to the hospital, Lucy was still given an average grade bed. At her own insistence she was to be given no prioritization, despite her father’s -and Natsu’s- arguments.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about Weirdo. Can’t I just visit ya every now and then?” Natsu teased, hand tightening around her smaller one. She sighed in exasperation, shuffling over in her small bed and giving Natsu an expectant look. He let out a happy chirp, flopping onto the thin mattress and cuddling into Lucy’s side under her blanket. His smile grew as she giggled, his arm wrapping around her shoulders and tucking her head under his chin. “Comfy?”

Lucy hummed, leaving her arm with the tubes above the blanket and resting on his chest. “I’m always warmer when I get to see you.” Lucy said softly, voice gentle and strong. _She_ was so strong.

“Maybe I should come here more often then.” Natsu said casually, rubbing his palm along her upper arm, both to warm her and as an excuse to touch her. It wasn’t hard to understand how she was so cold, she was so thin Natsu could easily swallow her wrist with his hand.

“No, Natsu. We both know there’s only one way onto this floor and I’d rather see my best friend healthy.” Lucy lectured, curling tighter into his side as if her body rejected the thought of him leaving even as she spoke.

Kinda like how her body was rejecting treatment.

“If I’m healthy then I can’t see you,” he grumbled, sinking into the bed as his stupid brain reminded them of where they were. Life wasn’t fair.

“Natsu…” Lucy called, voice trailing off. Neither of them wanted to hear what she would have to say, even though Natsu already knew it. Lucy was dying. He tightened his grip on their interlaced fingers, staring at her pale skin peeking through his own. Her porcelain like qualities were only highlighted by the light scars that trailed along his knuckles, prizes collected from his fights and outbursts over the years.

“So were you able to find any new books like you wanted to?” Natsu asked suddenly. The silence had been becoming too stifling, making Natsu feel like he was suffocating under all the weight it held. He let Lucy shift so she could look at him, dry smile pulling at her lips and a light colour rising on her sunken cheeks. “What was it again, something about stars? Or was it galaxies?”

“It was on the mathematical calculations of pulsars and blackholes, and yes. Father brought it for me a few days ago now.” Lucy laughed, giggling at how her words went over his head.

“You’re so fucking smart, Luce.” Natsu groaned, “It’s like you’re speaking a different language. You sure you’re only seventeen?”

“Well I’ve already counted the ceiling tiles a dozen times. Something had to take up the hours between your visits.” Lucy snorted, eyes dancing as Natsu made a face at her statement. He watched as a faraway expression crossed over her eyes, chocolate glazing as she looked at the wall beside him. “I wanted to be a teacher.”

“And you _will_ Luce. You’ll get better and then I’m gonna take you on a proper date and-.”

“Natsu.” Lucy interrupted his rant, soft voice cutting through his desperation tinged one. “That sounds more like one of my fairy tales than reality.” She tried to smile brightly, but Natsu saw through it. He frowned as he lifted a hand and cupped the side of her face, thumb tenderly wiping away the beginnings of her tears.

“Then why can’t we live in a fairy tale?” He asked her in a low voice. In a fairy tale the princess was always saved and any enemy could be defeated if you punched it hard enough. Natsu could sweep her off her feet and run from this prison, going off into the sunset to live happily ever after. A tear slipped from Lucy’s closed eyes, her hand cupping the one that Natsu held her face with.

“You know, before I had met you I had accep-”

“No.” Natsu said forcefully. He held her sad gaze when she looked at him, anger building inside him. “Never stop fighting.” The thought repulsed him, of her just fading away like she had never existed. Someone as wonderful and loving and amazing as Lucy shouldn’t be taken from them so soon. Not ever. It wasn’t _fair_. He felt his blood start to boil inside him, all other senses and thoughts fading behind his rage at the universe or God or whoever had decided to give Lucy this bullshit hand. He blinked rapidly as he heard Lucy’s voice, her brows knit and lips turned down in worry as his vision refocused.

“Natsu? Natsu, tell me where you are.” Lucy told him, Natsu taking in deep breaths as he felt the his anger rise and fall like waves crashing inside him.

“Magnolia Hospital.”

“Good. What are you feeling?”

“Anger. Sadness. Mostly anger though.”

“Okay. How does your body feel?”

Natsu snorted, ducking his head under Lucy’s stern glare. “Hot and itchy, like I’m supposed to be doing something. _Anything_.” Natsu answered, breathing easier as he felt the anger fall to a dull thrum in the back of his mind. He could punch something after he had to leave Lucy. “Y’know, I don’t just come over here for _you_ to look after _me_ , promise.” Natsu joked, “I don’t even know how you put up with all my bullshit. _I_ should be the one comforting you.” Natsu dropped his hand from her face, watching as his fingers curled into a fist on his lap. What kind of asshole visited his sick best friend and then dumped his own issues on her? God he was so _selfish_. Lucy deserved better than him.

“Stop it.” Lucy flicked his nose, his eyes wide as they shot up to look at her. “I know what you’re thinking and _stop it_. I love when you visit Natsu, where else could I ever see pink that vibrant?” Lucy tugged on a piece of his spiky bangs, smile easy.

“It’s salmon and you know it.” Natsu pouted, face eventually cracking into a smile back at her, her soft look infectious. The first time he had stumbled upon her room, they had had the debate about his hair colour. Natsu insisted it was natural -and _not_ pink-, Lucy scoffing at his earnesty. It had since become a running joke between the two.

“ _Pink_.” Lucy sang, giggling as Natsu released a frustrated sound. He tugged on her loose hair, hold becoming gentle as he twined it through his fingers.

“How would you like it if I called your hair yellow?” he asked, eyebrow cocking at her rolled eyes.

“Please, my hair is way too pretty to be called ‘yellow’. Blonde just sounds better, doesn’t it?” Lucy hummed, head tilting into his knuckles as they traced her cheek.

“The only thing that matters to me is that it’s yours.” Natsu whispered, Lucy stilling against his hand. Heartbreak flooded her eyes as she looked at Natsu, looking away from him as she settled back into his side. They had also had this conversation before. “I love you Lucy.” Natsu sighed, head falling back onto the feathered pillows Lucy’s father insisted she used. Maps of the stars covered the ceiling above Lucy’s bed, Natsu having been the one to tack them there for her. She had been so ecstatic she had actually danced with him for a while before becoming too exhausted and forced to return to bed. That was one of his favourite memories with her.

“You can’t,” Lucy said softly, her grip tightening on his hand. “It’s not fair to yourself Natsu. You deserve someone who can give you a future.” He heard her tears in the quiver in her light voice, anger curling inside him again. He made her cry. His Lucy was crying and it was his fault. Fuck, he didn’t even deserve to be in the same room as her, let alone mean enough to make her cry like this. He pushed those feelings down though, voice falsely cheery as he tried to lighten the mood.

“Hey, why can’t I add one more self destructive habit? Besides, you smell better than smoke.” Natsu nuzzled into her hair. He may not deserve it, but Natsu was a bad person so he took every opportunity he could to hold her like this and surround himself with her.  

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Lucy whimpered, Natsu pressing his lips in a kiss to her temple.

“Then tell me you love me,” Natsu replied softly, resting his forehead on her head.

“I love you.”

Natsu grinned at her quiet words, giddiness making all other emotions evaporate and his body feel like he was floating. She loved him. And he loved her.

And life more than sucked. It was cruel

“Oh Natsu, no,” Lucy gasped, her dainty fingers having tugged up his one of his hoodie’s sleeves. Both of his arms were bound in white gauze, only one of them being revealed by her curious hand. She pulled his sleeve further up to the elbow, red colouring and tan skin making the white wrappings stand out all the more. He was passive as he watched, eyes staring at his limp hand rather than look at her disappointed expression. Why did he have to ruin everything? She was going to push him away, yell at him like he deserved. Instead, he started when she lifted his arm up, lips gentle as they pressed butterfly kisses over his bandage.

“It wasn’t on purpose.” Natsu rushed out, pleading with her when she let her lashes flutter open to look at him. “I just… It was too much and I couldn’t take it anymore and I found the lighter under my bed… I thought I’d thrown them all out- but, but I just needed to _feel_ something a-and… you’d be sad if I broke my hand again and… I tried.” Natsu felt his voice catch in his throat as he tore his gaze away from hers, body pulling away from her soothing touch. He wasn’t worth her comfort. He’d let her down. “I’m sorry Lucy.”

“I wish you would try another medication,” Lucy sighed, fingers tilting his face towards hers. “All I want is for you to live a long and happy life Natsu. Go out on adventures. Explore the world.” She was wistful as she spoke, and Natsu pressed his hand over hers cupping his face.

“They won’t be fun without you there.” Natsu countered. She sighed dramatically at his argument, small smile curling her lips as she let her body nestle back into the bed. Both teens laid on their sides to face one another, knees interlocked and careful of the tubes and injuries each held. “Besides, you haven’t seen me on meds.” he continued in a hush, voice barely above a whisper.

Her hand tightened around his in question, Lucy squirming closer to his side so her fragile body was pressed flush to his. Natsu took a deep breath, steadying himself, eyes unfocused as they traced Leo -his birth constellation. “I’m… different. Numb. It’s like all the emotions I feel just get… _sucked_ out of me. And I’m a shitty walking shell. I can’t live like that, Luce. It’s like I’m watching someone else live in my body, a guy who says the what people want and does what people want and _is_ what people want, but it’s not _me_.

“I even named him.” Natsu joked dryly, waiting for the concerned look that all of his therapists gave him. The hurried scribble on their pads still haunted his dreams. END had gotten Natsu switched over to specialized counselling a few times before he learned to keep his mouth shut. They just didn’t understand what he meant, and he was sick of constantly being examined like a fucking nut case or having more pills shoved down his throat. His eyes flicked to Lucy when he saw her rise in his peripheral. Her eyes were watering again, and her hand shook as she reached to gently brush her fingers along his cheek and then rest in his scarf.

“ _You_ are what I want Natsu. Never think I want anyone else or even a different version of you, alright? I just wish… I wish…” Lucy said firmly, lower lip trembling as she struggled for the right words. Natsu brought her hand to his mouth, rough lips ghosting over her knuckles before pressing to the middle one solidly and his eyes falling shut.

“I know.” he murmured against her soft skin. “I wish I was normal too.”

“That is not what I was going to say!” Lucy cried out, rage burning in her eyes when Natsu looked at her in shock. “I love you, you stupid boy! Why would I ever want you to be ‘normal’? ‘Normal’ doesn’t exist, and even if it did it’s boring! You’re funny, and loud, and so optimistic and spread life like it’s coming out of your ass! Who cares if you like fire and get into fights a little too often? How, how could I ever try and change you?” her plea had fallen to a coarse whisper, Natsu’s eyes burning as Lucy let her tears fall freely. “I just want you to be _happy_ and _safe_ Natsu. It’s not fair.” She broke into a sob, chin tucking into the tops of her breasts and her fingers curling around his hand in a tight grip.

“Hey, hey, shhh. I’m sorry, please don’t cry. ‘Sides, isn’t that supposed to be my line, Weirdo?” Natsu soothed, his free hand cupping the back of her head and leading her back to his chest. She punched at his shoulder weakly, small laughs breaking up her tears at his nickname for her.

“I’m not a weirdo.” Lucy mumbled, Natsu’s smile widening at the expected reply.

“You’re my type of weirdo.” Natsu hummed, the side of his head resting heavily on the crown of Lucy’s.

“I’m yours, period.”

Natsu’s breath caught at Lucy’s quiet words, her voice certain and sure. “I hate this.” he growled, pulling her closer but also cautious of how fragile she was. Natsu felt like if he squeezed her too hard she would break, and there was no way he was about to risk losing any time he had with her.

“Me too.” Lucy said quietly, leg falling between his and their feet tangling together once more. She raised her head when Natsu let out a barked laugh, eyebrows knit and eyes still red.

“You have a fucked up body and a perfect mind, and my body’s basically indestructable but my brain hates me. Together we almost make a functional human.” Natsu laughed again at the cruel irony. If he could, he would give Lucy his body in a heartbeat if it meant she could leave this hospital. Lucy gave an unstable giggle, joining in with Natsu as fresh tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

“We complete each other. In the best and worst ways.” Lucy hummed, a strange look crossing her face, lips sill upturned in a gentle smile. Natsu meet her gaze with one of confusion, his eyes growing large when Lucy leaned in and pressed her lips to his unexpectedly. His first kiss. Their first kiss. Natsu started into life once more when he felt Lucy start to pull back, his eyes pinching shut and his hand knotting in her hair as he moved his lips against hers. After a few more seconds he let her pull back, both looking at one another through cracked eyes and with flushed cheeks. “Let’s go see the stars.”

“Huh?”

Lucy smiled brightly, rubbing her nose against Natsu’s and drawing a dopey -if confused- smile from the 18 year old.

“I want to see the stars.” Lucy repeated, shuffling out of Natsu’s arms and standing shaikly. Natsu was kneeling on her side of the bed in a flash and steadying her with a hand on the small of her back, Lucy grinning at him over her shoulder at the contact. He could see her clothes now as she turned to him, a pair of tiny sleep shorts to go with her three quater sleeved cotton top. The pink colouring of the sleeves matched her shorts, and Natsu smiled thoughtlessly at the little dancing flame on the white background of her shirt, words ‘too smokin’’ printed under it.

He also pointedly ignored how noticeably large her chest was.

Natsu let his hands rest on her waist, looking at Lucy with a concerned smile. “Okay, but you won’t see much from the window.” he said softly, tugging her closer so her knees bumped the bed and Natsu could wind his arms around her back in a loose hug.

“No silly. I mean on the roof.” Lucy sighed.

Natsu looked at her blankly, impish grin lighting his features before it fell as reality hit him. “Luce, it’s cold outsid-” He started softly, Lucy interrupting him with another kiss. She smiled at him as she pulled back, Natsu following her off the bed when she tugged his wrists and stepped back.

“You’re always bugging me about going on adventures. We’ll be like thirty seconds away from the staff,” Lucy pushed, throwing her arms over Natsu’s shoulders and hanging her weight on him slightly. “Come onnnn” she whined, biting her lip and looking up at him with large eyes.

It took Natsu’s self control all of 0.3 seconds to disintegrate under her look.

“Fine,” he grinned, laughing  as Lucy smiled up at him before burying her face in his shoulder and wiggling happily. “But we’re bringing all the pillows and blankets and your fairy lights.” Natsu put on a mock serious expression when Lucy pulled back, Lucy returning his look with a nod. He pretended not to notice the delicate skill she had as she removed her IV’s.

“Aye sir.”

“Gotta be sneaky.”

“Aye sir.”

“Nin nin.”

“You dork,” Lucy teased, laughing loudly when Natsu lifted his scarf to cover half of his lower face and make a ‘ninja’ motion with his hands. Natsu smiled as he listened to Lucy laugh, the sound melodic and soft as it filled the room and his heart. Lucy’s laughter faded and Natsu refocused on her warm smile, his own revealed when Lucy tugged his scarf back down.

The two broke into giggles and kissed once more, softer and more drawn out than others had been, sinking into one another and twining hands gently in the others hair. Natsu broke away first, gathering Lucy’s blanket in one big crumpled mess and struggling to smile at Lucy over the top, pouting at her exasperated sigh and allowing her to take the blankets from him and fold them neatly. Natsu was now able to carry two thin blankets and Lucy’s thick one, as well as two pillows while Lucy stood beside him with another two tucked under her arm and a book of fairy tales in her hand. Her mother’s book. Her fairy lights rested over her shoulders.

Natsu interlaced his hand with her free one, balancing his load of bedding in one hand and giving hers a warm squeeze. The two couldn’t stop sharing excited and conspiratorial looks as they snuck through the harsh white corridors, the hospital understaffed as usual and making their urgent secrecy more for their own imaginations.  

They were at the stairs in only a few minutes, Natsu’s joy dulling as he looked back at Lucy in concern. They had four more flights to go before they were at the roof.

“Well hop on,” Natsu sighed dramatically, bending his knees and releasing Lucy’s hand. Lucy made to argue but bit her tongue at Natsu’s sharp look, climbing onto his back diligently and wrapping one arm around his shoulder. Natsu groaned dramatically as he stood, grinning when Lucy swatted his shoulder and muttered threats under her breath. He loved getting her all riled up. She was cute when yelling at him.

Natsu was breathing a tiny bit heavier when he reached the last step, but no matter how much he joked lifting Lucy was almost effortless. He set her down just before the door to the roof, smile unconscious as he watched Lucy bounce with nervous excitement.  They both rested a hand on the push bar, Natsu and Lucy sharing a knowing look out of the corner of their eyes and pushed together, silent words the only ones needed between the two.

Natsu draped an arm over her shoulder as they walked into the dark, stars faintly twinkling above them and undisturbed due to the hospital being the tallest building around them.

“Isn’t is beautiful?” Lucy asked in awe, her arm slipping around Natsu’s waist and leading him further out onto the concrete pad. Natsu made a low noise in agreement, eyes flickering to look at Lucy’s glowing expression before looking up at the night sky. Maybe it was because he had her pressed against him, or where they were, but the starry patterns in the sky really _did_ look amazing tonight. The sky was inky with hints of blue, white and yellow dots sprinkled against it like powdered sugar and a full moon large and bright as it slowly crept across the sky.

They walked until they reached one of the generators, Natsu pumping his fist in victory when an outlet could been seen on the base. Tucking into the corner of it and a wall Natsu and Lucy made a nest out of several of the blankets and pillows, the fairy lights draped across the joint above them but far back enough that they could still see the sky. Natsu put his back against one pillow and spread his legs, Lucy settling between them and pulling the final plush blanket over them both as she nestled into his chest.

He smiled to himself as Lucy launched into random facts about the stars and planets that existed in the universe. His attention was caught at the one where it rained glass horizontally due to how strong the winds were. And he thought that giant hurricane or whatever on Jupiter was hardcore.

“You really love this stuff, don’tcha Luce?” Natsu asked softly, fingers playing with the tips of her hair. Lucy hummed in agreement and tucked her head into his scarf, curling tighter into his lap. “Then I’m gonna take you out camping and we can see the sky without all the city politicans or whatever.” Natsu said in a matter-of-fact tone, nodding to himself. Lucy laughed weakly, hands fisting in his shirt.

“It’s light pollution Natsu, and as much as I would love that, you know I can’t leave the hospital that long.” her voice was faint and Natsu’s lips thinned at the sadness in her words.

“Then we’ll go after. When you’re better.” Natsu refused to think of any other future. He couldn’t imagine _not_ growing old with her. Not _living_ with her. Lucy was quiet against him, Natsu tightening his arms around her and crushing her to him. Maybe if he held her tight enough he could squeeze the sickness out of her. Or at least stop her from slipping from his grasp…

“Natsu…”

“No. Science and medicine have gotten a lot of progress since your mother passed away. There’s, there’s gotta be something. I w-was reading up on it, your disease. There’s this doctor in like Alveraz that’s developing a treatment. O-or something about nana bots. It’s… You- you can’t… You’ll beat this Lucy. You’re strong and _you have to beat this_.” Natsu’s voice was raspy and pleading as he finished, unable to swallow around a large lump in his throat. Damn it, he would fight _for_ her.

“Natsu!” Lucy’s voice was clear as she cut him off, her head bowed and unable to meet his gaze. “Stop.”

Natsu paled at her tiny voice, any strength that she had said his name with washed away like Natsu’s hope.

“I got the results back. I, I was on one of those wild treatments, a last ditch effort.” Lucy took a deep breath, exhale shaky and wet and sending another crack through Natsu’s heart. It shattered when Lucy looked up at him with tears falling freely down her cheeks. “It didn’t work.”

Natsu swallowed sharply, shaking his head in denial. Lucy gave him a watery smile, gently running her hand through his hair and tucking a strand behind one ear. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his chest with both hands, holding on to her desperately. He opened his mouth to say something -anything- but Lucy beat him to it.

“I have six months at best Natsu. My body is shutting down and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.”

A soft ‘no’ fell from his lips, Natsu’s eyes staying open and glazed even as Lucy kissed him. It couldn’t be true… There had to be something… He couldn’t lose her. He kissed her back deeply as it finally sunk into his bones, the truth of it. Natsu let Lucy turn around in his arms so her back was pressed flush to his chest and his arms wound tightly around her middle.

Heavy silence fell on them like an unwanted blanket sealing their cocoon, and Natsu bit harshly on his lip to stop it from trembling. He needed to be strong for her. He couldn’t break, not yet.

“Hey Luce, what was that story about the dragon made of stars.” Natsu just needed to think about something else, just… Needed to spend time with Lucy. His Lucy.

“Draco,” Lucy hummed thoughtfully, shoulder’s relaxing and hand squeezing Natsu’s forearm grateful -but still cautious of his burns. “He was guardian of a tree of golden apples in Hera’s garden…” she prattled off the myth, her voice soothing and melodic as she spoke. But it didn’t distract Natsu, instead only reminding him that he would only hear that voice for 6 more months. Her laugh, her shouts, the gentle way she would explain anything to him. Just gone. She would be like one of the stars in the sky, disappearing without a trace to those far enough away, but creating an explosive supernova to those in her orbit. And God knew Natsu was well within the blast zone.

Tears fell from his eyes, Natsu not bothering to wipe his face clean as he vaguely paid attention to the sound of Lucy’s voice. A flash of light caught his eye, and his tears fell harder as he realized a shooting star had just passed over them. He couldn’t help but think that maybe if they were in a fairy tale that all it would take was a wish upon a star to make everything better.

But this was no fairy tale, and Natsu cried silently as he held the dying love of his life in his arms and listened to her talk about the stars she loved so much.

He only hoped he could join her among them one day.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this took forever lol. I had meant to save it for angst week but then that blew by super fast and whoops. Was going to be for Fairy Tale day. At least I finally got my flow back kinda and finished it! Now on to all my other bloody projects lol…
> 
> I only did the nalu due to time and sheer laziness. But seriously check out these songs!! So pretty!!
> 
> Hospital!AU, Lucy is just a generic body-hates-itself-and is-attacking-itself disease, while Natsu’s was based off of BPD. Open-ended but generally angst lol.


End file.
